Decide on the layout: where the lights will go, where the transformer goes, and how to get the wires from Point A to Point B.

Next comes the worst part of the whole process: digging trenches. If you're like most folks, you dig it as shallow as you think is good enough . . . or maybe a little less, as the day rolls on and your back gets sore.

With the trenches finished, the next task is to assemble the light fixtures. To save costs, the light fixtures were made with tiny and fragile parts, and some assembly was left for the customer to do. And don't touch that halogen bulb, or the oil in your skin will cause it to fail prematurely (you're supposed to clean it off with rubbing alcohol if you do).

Lay out the low voltage cable, clip lights onto the cable using the handy-dandy, easy-to-use, clip-on connectors, and connect the end of the cable to the transformer. Plug it in, and wahoo! The lights come on! Or maybe not. Fiddle with the handy-dandy, easy-to-use, clip-on connectors, and make sure the bulbs are properly seated in their sockets, shake it around a bit, and wahoo, all lights on!

Backfill the trenches, stick the lights into the ground using the attached stake, and make them all stand up straight.

Then wait for nightfall. Hopefully it meets with expectations, but since this is the first time you've actually seen the lights in operation, it's hard to know for sure. Regardless, mission accomplished, you hope.

Unfortunately, it's all downhill from here.

On the first night, you might notice that the lights furthest from the transformer aren't as bright as those that are closest to the transformer. This is to be expected with low voltage (12-24 volts) landscape lighting, and it takes some serious engineering prior to installation to compensate for it.

Within a year, there are lights that aren't working, some are leaning over, and the finish is starting to fade. You try changing some light bulbs (if you know what to look for and can find them) and that might make them work again. Or maybe not. You straighten up those that are leaning.

After another year or two, most are leaning over, some don't work at all, they look horrible, and some of the cable can now be seen (it's amazing how that cable has a way moving up to the surface). You give up and turn off the transformer, conceding defeat. Where did you go wrong? Did you install them the wrong way or buy the wrong lights?